Intro Before:
Have you ever taken the time to stop and admire a work of art? Some look deep into it finding hidden meanings, others clearly see a work of art just out on display. If you have done this, you’re like many others. There is no right or wrong, that is the beauty of art; it can be interpreted anyway imagined. Most people appreciate art and value it but there will always be some that believe otherwise. The EA’s viewpoint found in the article “Is is OK to make are?” by Rhys Southan states that art is simply a waste of time that does not serve much purpose in the world. They believe generously making donations of money could make a larger impact when helping those who are less fortunate and suffering. Art in all of it’s forms shapes communities and creates a sense of hope and beauty throughout the world.
Intro After:
Have you ever taken the time to stop and admire a work of art? Some look deep into it finding hidden meanings, others clearly see a work of art just out on display. If you have done this, you’re like many others. There is no right or wrong, that is the beauty of art; it can be interpreted anyway imagined. Most people appreciate art and value it, but there will always be some that believe otherwise. These others, known as the Effective Altruism or EA’s are a group of individuals whom share the belief that art is pointless when it comes to helping improve the world’s suffering. Instead, they believe generously making donations of money could make a larger impact when helping those who are less fortunate. The EA’s viewpoint found in the article “Is is OK to make art?” clashes with the authors, Rhys Southans where he believes that art can be extremely beneficial to help those who are suffering. Art in all of it’s forms shapes communities and creates a sense of hope and beauty throughout the world.
Conclusion Before:
In an ideal world, I believe we could use both generosity and art to decrease the number of individuals suffering. The effects of art are long term. They create a happy environment and bring broken communities together as one. Art provides a sense of hope for a better future. Although donating is a great way to help those in need, it only puts a small dent in this gigantic issue. So many people are suffering and there would need to be a lot of people willing to be generous enough to donate. Money may help in the moment but it is short term. Soon that money will run out and those individuals will return to suffering once again. Money is needed for everything you do but art is priceless. Taking the time to admire the painting, read the book, watch the film, or perform the dance you are able to express emotion. Sometimes you get to share these experiences with others and create happy memories that bring you closer.
Conclusion After:
In an ideal world, I believe we could use both generosity and art to decrease the number of individuals suffering. The effects of art are long term, it provides a sense of hope for a better future. They create a happy environment and bring broken communities together as one. Although donating mentioned by the EA’s is a great way to help those in need, it only puts a small dent in this gigantic issue. So many people are suffering and there would need to be a lot of people willing to be generous enough to donate. Money may help in the moment but it is short term. Soon that money will run out and those individuals will return to suffering once again. Money is needed for everything you do but art is priceless. Taking the time to admire the painting, read the book, watch the film, or perform the dance you are able to express emotion.
- I chose to work on my introduction and conclusion because to me I feel like they are both very important. In my intro I focused more on bringing more information in from the text especially “Is it OK to make art?”. In my changes, I just went deeper into identifying who the EA’s are and their beliefs. I also wanted to make it flow a little smoother. In my conclusion I basically moved some stuff around and changed some wording. I also brought some information regarding the EA’s to tie the essay together.
